‘More muscular’ Clegg calls Cameron out for a fight

Coalition Exclusive: “Bitch better recognise, shit just got real up in this piece.”

This was Deputy PM Nick Clegg’s fierce challenge, as the Liberal Democrat leader – having promised a ‘more muscular’ presence in the coalition government – stood in Downing Street this morning and tore off his shirt to reveal the extensive exercise he has been doing since he became party leader.

“That’s right, I’m a-call you out, Cameron. You want tougher terms on public sector reform? Bring it.”

Sources close to Mr Clegg said he had been preparing this showdown for some months, ever since the tuition fees debacle lead to the Lib Dems’ drubbing in local elections.

“The No to AV campaign was the final straw for Nick,” Claudia Schaffer, the deputy PM”s special adviser told us. “He’s been in the gym three times a day, even skipping through party meetings. I think it’s ‘roid rage now.”

As Clegg stood firmly in the street, hurling abuse at the upper windows of Number 10, Vince Cable stood behind with a towel round his neck, punctuating everything Nick said with a desultory “Yeah.”

At time of going to press there has been no response from the Prime Minister, but it is thought he will come out later today with George Osborne for back-up.

William Hill are giving odds of 7-2 for a Clegg victory. This would include the redrafting of proposed health service legislation, and a go on Samantha.