New sign appears in UK airports
Terrorism News: Scientists at Cambridge University have stumbled upon a radical solution to the sky rocketing cost of airport security by creating the world’s first ‘No Terrorists’ sign.
“The breakthrough came when we saw how effective ‘No Smoking’ signs have become,” said Professor Ken Shwarma.“You can be in a restaurant or an office or a public building – it doesn’t matter. If the sign says ‘No Smoking’ people just don’t do it.”
The Ministry of Defense has already ordered no less than three ‘No Terrorists’ signs and hope to start testing at Gatwick and Luton airports in time for the holiday season. If the tests are successful the signs could be adopted at Heathrow airport before the New Year.
Optimistic about the results, the Ministry has already scrapped a £780M plan to upgrade airport metal detectors with sensors that can identify minute traces of TATP (an explosive favoured by terrorists since it is cheap to produce and almost impossible to detect).
“We’ll remove the metal detectors altogether if no attacks occur in aviation over the course of the two day test” said a confident Liam Fox at this morning’s press conference.
The US Department of Homeland Security has also expressed an interest in adopting the sign. A Pentagon official told The Poke today, “We are aware that importing foreign technology of this kind may cause controversy and are sensitive to investing in jobs overseas, however the safety of our citizens is our number one priority.”