Facebook suffers subsidence

Science and Technology News: Last night Facebook suffered major subsidence following a massive collapse in the foundations of neighbouring site Myspace.

Facebook’s infra-structure was badly damaged, causing the social networking site to noticeably droop on one side, sending 1.8 million profiles cascading down onto the internet. Tragically, many of the casualties were photos of children and people on holiday.

The resulting landslide of badly secured personal information slipping off Facebook onto the rest of the web caused an info tsunami that pushed an estimated 14million websites off the edge of the internet.

Some emergency shoring-up saved a further 12,000 but when crisis managers at Google stepped in to take control of the deteriorating situation, they requested urgent Humanitarian Aid to preserve many others that teeter precariously on the edge.

“Some of the web-pages we risk losing are of vital importance,” warned Google’s Director of Conservation, Sophie Greenspan. “Like ‘Josh’s Home Page’ for example,  protected since 1991 as a site of cultural and historical interest, with its archaic hit-counter, flashing text, hotchpotch of colourful fonts and a shit picture of a dog.”

An inquiry into the cause of the disaster found that Myspace’s collapse coincided with its deletion of the profiles of 90,000 registered sex offenders. Spokesman for Myspace, Debbie Chesney, 13 ¾, offered this reassurance, “We are doing everything we can to ensure this does not happen again: We will phase out the use of paedophiles in Myspace’s load-bearing structures by 2045.”

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