Communist pandas deported from US

Wardens at the San Diego zoo on the west coast of America alerted the authorities when they noticed that their two Pandas Mae Pang and Sim Lung appeared to be sharing their bamboo, in keeping with the communist principle that all property should be divided equally among comrades.

The Pandas, originally brought over from China as a goodwill gesture, are to be deported due to concerns over homeland security.

Straight after the Ana Chapman spy ring drama, rumours of another swap continue to spread as reports emerged that Chinese authorities have moved a capitalist turbot from a holding facility outside of Pingyao to an airport in the Guangdong province.

“To think that we had two commies right here on American soil, it makes me sick to my stomach” said the Chief of San Diego Police.

“I was told pandas were black and white,” said a small child visiting the zoo from Kansas, “but really they’re RED”, he burst into tears before being led away to a decontamination tent that has been set up for all US citizens that have visited the zoo since the Pandas arrival in 1987.