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So Tudor Crew?
RISING STARS of the UK Garage scene So Solid
Crew have shocked fans and the music industry alike, by announcing
a surprise new change in style and direction. The 68-strong
group plan to adopt the
trappings of the Tudor period in a bid to break the lucrative
U.S market, which is well known for embracing British groups
with a predilection for the 16th century.
MC Megaman explained the group’s decision
at a recent press conference. “Big Up Anne Boleyn, we
is luvin’ the Treaty of Medina del Camp, and Thomas Wolsey
is safe. The Tudors had it massive, and so will we. Plus Skat
D has always liked wearing big, ruffled collars and marrying
women by proxy.”
Megaman was said to have been inspired to change
the group’s direction after tossing a half-eaten chicken
leg into the cleavage of a busty wench during a feast.
The group plan to unveil their new look at a
gig next month on the wreck of the Mary Rose, whilst their
new single Ban The Catholic Mass is expected to feature explicit
rapping about the 1549 Act of Uniformity, and a reference
about Asher D being put in the stocks for having an illegally
converted cannon hidden in his horse.
The dramatic change comes hot on the heels of
Robbie Williams adopting the mannerisms of a bawdy king, and
ex-Steps member H dressing up like some kind of fucking medieval
robber-baron.
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