Nonce in crisp shocker

Rick Byrne

FOURTEEN YEAR old Kyle Cooper from Leighton Buzzard got a shock this week when he opened a tube of Pringles only to find that one was the spitting image of the child-bothering pop star Jonathan King. The Bar-B-Q flavoured snack had been accidentally baked in the shape of the infamous presenter right down to the stroke-faced leer and bad glasses.

“I was quite frightened,” said Kyle, whose father is a policeman. “I immediately gave it to my Dad because I thought the Jonathan King Crisp might try to buy me a Panda Pop and then bugger me in the arse.”

Pringles, manufacturer of Pringles, have vowed to look into the matter as they say it’s a matter of policy not to include kiddy fiddlers in their packs. The incident comes at a particularly bad time for crisps in general as only two months ago a child found a dead pig and a hawk in a packet of Frisps, and one of the missing bodies from the Moors Murders turned up in some Wotsits.