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Geordie star was a 'real tiger in bed'
Rick Byrne
A SEXY but ultimately vapid Brummie lap dancer
has revealed exclusively to The Poke that an ex-star of Saturday
Morning Kid’s TV was a real tiger between the sheets
as she bedded either Ant or Dec out of Ant and Dec. Louise
Miffin, 23, seduced whichever one it was in a Birmingham hotel
room after one or both of the pint-sized presenters had been
in the city for some reason.
“We went back to the hotel bar and
had a couple of drinks and he invited me up to his room”,
revealed the kiss-and-tell slag.
“I stripped down to a tiny thong
and Ant or Dec couldn’t keep his eyes off me. I could
see he was excited as he took his clothes off but he didn’t
stop there. As soon as we slipped into bed he burst out of
his skin like something out of either Cat People or Simon
Macorkindale in Manimal, revealing that he was an actual real
tiger underneath. He was about nine feet long including his
tail and his breath stunk of rotting carrion.
“I thought we were going to make
love but instead he viciously mauled me and tore off one of
my arms before running off into the jungle.” Ant or Dec
have both since left the hit SMTV show, amid rumours that
one of them frenziedly ate Bryan out of Westlife during a
rehearsal.
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