Grand opening of ‘Millennium Bicycle’ inaugurates London’s cycle-hire scheme

London’s cycle-hire scheme was launched this morning with the official opening of the so-called ‘second wheel’ at the London Eye – now to be renamed as the ‘Millennium Bicycle’.

Boris Johnson and a group of journalists were the first to ride the second wheel, and the Mayor was in a jovial mood.

An outspoken activist for pedal powered transportation since becoming MP for Henley in 2001, many see the introduction of the cycle-hire scheme as his greatest achievement.

Batting away criticism that the £750 million price tag for the Millenium Bicycle was ‘scandalous’, Johnson boasted that “this extra wheel will be just the beginning. Over time we will add the Millennium Wicker Basket, the Millennium Child Seat, and the Millennium ‘Ping’ Bicycle Bell – itself large enough to include a five star restaurant hosted by Michel Roux.”

The blond ex-Etonian added “I’m already in talks with a Ukrainian manufacturer to smelt a set of handlebar tassels out of steel that would each measure longer than the Statue of Liberty. ”

In spite of fiscally prolapsing budget projections, the blond Mayor remained bullish about the future. “Should I be re-elected in 2012 my first order of business will be to add a third wheel to create the Millennium Tricycle – thus cementing London’s status as the cyclo-metropolitan capital of the world. Hoorah! Now where are the sticky buns?”

Story: Jasper Gibson