|
Soapwatch
Eastenders
Sonia and Ted continue to filter off funds
from the sonar appeal in order to continue construction of
the missile silo. Pat, Barry and Ronan go to see S Club 7
at the London Docklands and end up either fucking or killing
them all. Phil is at loggerheads with Ian, a vicar, some schoolchildren,
Martin Amis and the population of Leeds over how big the gargoyle
should be. Colonel Welsh asks Pauline if he can put his horse
out to graze at the back of the laundrette, whilst Robby,
Colin, Asif and his pet heron decide to team up to make a
two storey high marionette of the Queen in order to impress
a lusty, passing whore.
Brookside
Ron exposes himself to a giant shoe in
the hope of stirring something ‘down there’, whilst
Viv, Debby and Top Cat hide in an alleyway after being chased
by a branch of the robot police. Hank and Geoff smother a
fox to death with an inflatable banana, only to discover that
Julian Cope has left explicit instructions in the garage that
there should be no such smothering under any circumstances.
Just as Bev thinks the bar is getting back on its feet, her
dreams and pelvis are crushed when a giant bomb lands in her
lap.
Coronation St.
Ashley has a dream about being trapped
inside a space station with Kirk Douglas, only for Maxine
to tell him she has just won a free meal at the local Harvester.
Haley, Mark, Adam and Roland Gift from the Fine Young Cannibals
set up a scone destroying machine in the middle of the street,
only for Roy to end up sitting on a Scout’s knee. There’s
trouble in the bookies when Alan makes a bet only Kris Kristofferson
can honour, whilst Daphne and Celeste win the jam making competition.
Hollyoaks
There’s trouble at Diva this week,
when Tony makes Alice watch him screw a tree behind the bar.
Meanwhile LL Cool J teams up with Evil Kenvel to try and fling
themselves into the river. Publican Jack ends up in hospital,
after Inspector Morse drives a tractor into the pub, only
for Jane, Kelvin and Mr Miyagi to confront him about what
really happened during last week’s sex raffle. Karen
discovers a plot to slide the entire town off the edge of
the world, whilst Peter sets fire to a duck.
|
