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Dream Oscars prove no nightmare for Brits
Jack Vashay
Arts correspondent
BRITISH HOPES are running high in this
year’s Dream Oscars - with some marvellous home-grown
dreams nominated in several of the biggest categories.
Randy, ugly Andrew Stegley is hotly tipped
for Most Ambitious Erotic Dream. His fully wet offering, which
features Holly Vallance, her previously unknown sextuplet
sisters, and a lavishly equipped gymnasium made from solid
glass, is said to have left the panel ‘visibly
spent’. Nine-year-old Brighton schoolgirl Ellen Meredith
is the clear favourite for Best Special Effects. Her lavish
nine-hour epic, dreamed over several nights, includes giant
rainbow horses, exploding schools and a flying crayon.
But most exciting of all for British sleep
hopes is the coveted Best Dream category. Londoner Margaret
Orkney’s harrowing anxiety dream - in which she has to
grow hundreds of new teeth every day to sell to the gypsies,
or they’ll steal her hair - is the hot favourite, especially
as the only real competition is a Danish dream about tax.
The famous awards, which are made of metal
and shaped like Freud’s brain, will be presented by Michael
Stipe from REM. There will also be a performance by Tony Spinks,
the world’s greatest ‘extreme dreamer’. In
a death-defying centrepiece to the show, he will dream that
he is falling off the Empire State Building, and - risking
his own life - he will not wake up until the last possible
moment before he smashes into a lethal sidewalk in his mind.
Other categories:
- Best Dream In A Foreign
Language
- Sausage & Donut Award For Most Thinly
Disguised Fantasy
- Most Disturbing Appearance By A Family Member
- Most Prosaic Dream Declared “Really
Weird” By Its Dreamer
- Pharaoh Award For Most Fatted Cows In A
Single Dream
- Filthiest Daydream In A Job Interview Situation
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