Science & Tech
Alien News: Scientists who recently found a massive alien creature frozen in Antarctic ice say they are convinced that defrosting it will be ‘totally 100%’ safe.
The scientists, who recently discovered the frozen alien body on a research trip, plan to defrost the alien to study it.
“It’s been frozen in ice for thousands, if not millions, of years,” said team leader Dr. Garry Campbell. “It’s...
Tech News: Following Thailand’s endorsement of the censorship of certain messages on Twitter, the social micro-blogging network site has announced increased restrictions to its service. Messages on Twitter, up until now, have been restricted to 140 characters but with new regulations taking place at midnight GMT tonight, each tweet will only be permitted two characters.
In Thailand, this has...
Tech News: Kim Dotcom, the internet mogul charged with running the file-sharing website Megaupload.com, is in reality an 11-year-old girl who set up the fake profile in order to ‘become more popular’.
“Lots of people lie about who they really are online,” said the unnamed girl, who maintains that she only created the fake Kim Dotcom identity to “talk to older kids” and that “things...
Health News: Mothers who give birth while standing six foot above a birthing pool were warned today that an ‘umbilical bungee birth’ is not the way to create ‘exciting children’.
“There is a great deal of pseudo-science around the long-term effects of the birthing environment,” said Dr. Terence Whiting of Nuffield Hospital, Derbyshire.
“Contrary to popular belief, for...
Science News: A brand new species of spider has been discovered that caused some scientists to throw up, and left others silently rocking back and forth, unable to talk about the horror they had just witnessed.
The spider, discovered on a trip to Tanzania by the University Of Bristol, has been named “Christ No, Jesus Christ No” after the first words uttered by the Professor who discovered it....
Rail News: Ministers have solved the problems over the controversial new high-speed rail line between London and Birmingham with a ‘workaround’ that will easily cut journey times to under one hour.
This first phase of H2C ‘V-sign shaped’ sections could be finished by 2026, with extensions further north later completed by 2033. The main thrust of the winning proposal involves...
Technology News: “I see it as the perfect fusion of the internet’s north and south poles,” says web analyst Susan Frost. “To the north, we have cats. To the south, Star Wars.”
Registering over 5 billion hits within its first hour, the YouTube video of an ugly cat who bears a striking resemblance to Chewbacca has smashed all previous viral records.
“We estimate that by the end of today,”...
Diet News: As everyone rushes to burn off the excesses of the festive season, a new underground diet craze is sweeping through the UK – and doctors are warning it could have fatal results.
The consumption of two or three grammes of cocaine followed by a long yoga session has been fashionable for some time amongst dancers, newsreaders, and other professionals who need to lose weight fast.
With...
Tech News: Siri, the iPhone assistant, has been charged with masterminding a mob killing in the U.S that left at least seven criminals dead.
It is thought that mob boss Luigi Rambodazzlini had his iPhone switched on when he remarked to himself, “What should I do about the Frizzi family?”
Siri is then alleged to have replied, “Whack them and bury them in the desert” before detailing various...
Star Wars News: Intergalactic billionaire George Lucas is squeezing yet more money out of his never-ending franchise by teaming up with domestic appliance manufacturers to produce a Star Wars range of hoovers, mowers, and even anglepoise lamps in time for Christmas.
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‘This IS the Droid Anglepoise Lamp you’re...
