Nick Grimshaw’s Lost Listeners Found Cowering In Disused Coal Mine
Radio News: The million listeners DJ Nick Grimshaw has lost since taking …

Queen Ends Speech By Dropping Mic, Telling MPs “I’m Out”
Royal News: The Queen brought the State Opening of Parliament to a …

High Court Clears Posh Spice For Smile Attempt
Facial News: After various legal challenges, the High Court of Justice has …

Samantha Brick’s Diet Diary
Daily Mail columnist Samantha Brick says that being fat ‘signifies failure’ and …

Richard Littlejohn’s Chat Up Lines
Daily Mail columnist Richard Littlejohn shares his sure-fire chat up lines with …

The Queen’s Bonus: How Her Majesty Will Spend Her Extra £5 Million
The Queen has received a £5m boost in the funds she receives …

‘I Was Muff-Punched By Ben Fogle’
Wholesome Presenter News: A sports therapist from Lancaster spoke of her distress today …

Prince Charles Dancing ‘Is A Cry For Help’
Royal News: Princes Charles’ repeated habit of doing awkward little dances in …

Queen To Play Helen Mirren
Showbiz News: The Queen has announced plans to portray actress Helen Mirren …

Daniel Day-Lewis Raises Method Acting Bar By Getting Assassinated At Oscars
Oscar News: Lincoln star Daniel Day-Lewis raised the bar on his dedication …

Justin Bieber Ready To Get To Third Base With Mannequin
Music News: Pop star Justin Bieber has told friends and family that …

Afghans send heartfelt message to Prince Harry
Princely News: Ordinary Afghans came together today to send their own message of …

Chris Brown Honoured With Giant Golden Memorial Turd
Shit News: Domestic violence performer and occasional rapper Chris Brown is to …

Dame Maggie Smith Gets Tattoo, Wakes Up In Hedge After Golden Globes Win
Awards News: After winning at the Golden Globe awards last night, Dame …

Depardieu shrugs, drinks wine, denies being French
French News: Gerard Depardieu says he’s stopped being French, despite vast amounts of …

Derren Brown Tricked Into Thinking He’s A Magician
Illusion News: It’s alleged that a TV channel, book publishers, theatres and …

Inquiry opened into Rod Hull animal abuse claims
Showbiz News: The entertainment industry is reeling in shock after the police …

David Blaine to stick fork into plug socket
Magic News: US performance artist David Blaine is to stick a fork …

Piers Morgan’s body finally has enough, starts to consume self
Twat News: Piers Morgan’s body has decided it can no longer be …

‘Practical Caravan’ is latest magazine to publish topless Kate pics
Royal News: The magazine Practical Caravan has caused outrage after revealing plans …