Kern’s Corner: My answer to the problems in Charlottesville
Plans to remove a statue of slave-owner and civil war general, Robert Lee, from a park in Virginia led to a neo-Nazi rally to defend it, and which culminated in violence and bloodshed. They argue that it erases a part of their southern history. Those who wish to remove the statue argue that a monument of such a man has no place in the modern world. Well how about this as a solution…
…instead of removing statues of racist, white-nationalist-inspiring historical figures whose politics most contemporary people don’t agree with, why not put up some new statues in the leafy park around them of the Wu Tang Clan playing dice, of Barbara Streisand eating a knish, some statues of gay people getting off and a statue of the first black president Barack Obama feeding the pigeons – so that the statue of confederate General Robert Lee has to stare for eternity at things he would have hated – having to bear witness when the park opens and closes each day that his dream and his vision of society failed – a palpable image with a lesson that can be taught to anyone who visits the park.
The tapestry of history has many stains, but if you cut out the stains you’re just left with holes.
We need these stains to reflect and recontextualise who we are as time moves on – to remind us where we’ve been and motivate us on where we want to go.
It would also be great to see neo-Nazis struggling to get themselves a decent selfie next to General Lee what with the endless statues of black and white guys getting off, creeping into frame.
And this principle could be applied to all areas of society where we need help dealing with uncomfortable truths…
…whenever James Corden appears on TV he could be followed with someone you don’t want to punch in the face in order to even things out…
…when Chris Evans says, “Wahey”, for two hours on the radio, you could sit down and listen to the conversation of someone you don’t want to kick in the bollocks…
Without reminders of society’s greatest crimes we cannot take a compass bearing to point us in the right direction.
Destroying statues is what ISIS and the Taliban do.
To try and create a cultural ground zero is the inclination of tyrants.
And until a statue of Martin Luther King playing ping pong with the Marx Brothers is erected next to the fearsome General Lee, then we should remember that every person who doesn’t subscribe to his world view is a living, walking monument and testament to his failure.
They should walk past that statue with a smile on their face.
They are here. They are alive.
What an infuriating sight for bigots and neo-Nazis that would be.
LEE KERN
Lee is a writer and comedian.
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Read last week’s column about how there’s nothing more boring than the threat of nuclear war.
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