The Twitter account @BadSouthernRail is mocking Southern Rail and it’ll improve your commute
Southern Rail – a rail franchise so bad that many people have given up working and prefer to be unemployed than deal with the horror of commuting gets a lot of stick.
And they deserve all of it – which is why we’re glad to have spotted this account taking the piss out of it.
Here’s 21 of their best.
1.
Passengers advised that we are seeing giant cats across the network. Delays likely pic.twitter.com/XpHXjViJJY
— BadSouthernRail (@BadSouthernRail) January 3, 2017
2.
America! If you want to quietly get rid of @realDonaldTrump, send him over here, put him on a Southern train and he'll never be seen again.
— BadSouthernRail (@BadSouthernRail) January 20, 2017
3.
Passengers are reminded that this is a train pic.twitter.com/rhM1doqV7n
— BadSouthernRail (@BadSouthernRail) December 20, 2016
4.
This man was 17 when he caught a southern Rail train home last night pic.twitter.com/Rj5f8G2bUp
— BadSouthernRail (@BadSouthernRail) November 2, 2016
5.
Hi, I'm a child doing twitter to make you all forget we're a contemptible company with a near psychopathic hatred towards passengers
— BadSouthernRail (@BadSouthernRail) July 12, 2017
6.
Please note there is no industrial action this week and so we will be using a variety of excuses like ghosts and 1974 for the dismal service
— BadSouthernRail (@BadSouthernRail) January 15, 2017
7.
Passengers advised that a train is currently running on time. We have no idea how or why this is happening and apologise for any confusion.
— BadSouthernRail (@BadSouthernRail) January 3, 2017
8.
Passengers wishing to travel today advised to travel to an alternative dimension where trains aren't run by massive children
— BadSouthernRail (@BadSouthernRail) December 13, 2016
9.
Passengers reminded you've got as much chance of getting somewhere by unicorn as you do by train today
— BadSouthernRail (@BadSouthernRail) December 6, 2016
10.
Passengers wishing to travel home for Christmas advised to leave now.
— BadSouthernRail (@BadSouthernRail) November 28, 2016
11.
How to get your Southern Rail name. Take your first name then your last name.Then stand on a train for all your life and never see your kids
— BadSouthernRail (@BadSouthernRail) July 11, 2017
12.
Apologies for the strike this week, we've tried everything to prevent it from a campaign of Twitter abuse to really hoping it's cancelled.
— BadSouthernRail (@BadSouthernRail) October 10, 2016
13.
This couple were teenagers when they set off from #Brighton to London early this morning pic.twitter.com/1zKxMteL8v
— BadSouthernRail (@BadSouthernRail) October 11, 2016
14.
Some services may be imaginary today. Feel free to imagine boarding them and getting to work on time.
— BadSouthernRail (@BadSouthernRail) June 29, 2017
15.
Passengers reminded that Southern trains are purely ornamental and should not be used for travel
— BadSouthernRail (@BadSouthernRail) December 5, 2016
16.
Services will run slowly through South London because its really foggy and creepy and we're worried about werewolves.
— BadSouthernRail (@BadSouthernRail) January 25, 2017
17.
Services may be delayed as we're all huddled in our nuclear bunker awaiting the end of the world #Trump
— BadSouthernRail (@BadSouthernRail) November 9, 2016
18.
We're receiving reports that a train has arrived somewhere on time. I know, I'm scared too. Hold me.
— BadSouthernRail (@BadSouthernRail) January 26, 2017
19.
Passengers advised that we have been up all night working out a brand new emergency timetable pic.twitter.com/ZYmgVUqiOo
— BadSouthernRail (@BadSouthernRail) December 16, 2016
20.
We'll be spending the day locked in negotiations with unions desperately trying to sort this mess out. Just kidding. We'll be doing a sudoku
— BadSouthernRail (@BadSouthernRail) December 12, 2016
21.
Alternative replacement services in operation during the #southernstrike pic.twitter.com/qlFwLgPT23
— BadSouthernRail (@BadSouthernRail) December 30, 2016
And finally… we’ll just leave this here
"Industrial Action…" by Barbarossa – just FP'd: https://t.co/MrwO3ZIHly pic.twitter.com/pwCqhw30xs
— b3ta (@b3ta) July 14, 2017
