23 ‘Programmer Dad Jokes’ you’ll only get if you’re a programmer
How many of these do you get? Only proper programmers will understand all 23.
1
[“hip”,”hip”]
hip hip array!
Source: Reddit/ProgrammerDadJokes
2
How did pirates collaborate before computers ?
Pier to pier networking
Source: Reddit/ProgrammerDadJokes
3
I’m starting a band called HTML Encoder
Looking to buy a guitar & amp ;
Source: Reddit/ProgrammerDadJokes
4
As a programmer, sometimes I feel a void
And I know I’ve reached the point of no return
Source: Reddit/ProgrammerDadJokes
5
Why did the functions stop calling each other?
Because they had constant arguments.
Source: Reddit/ProgrammerDadJokes
6
Why don’t bachelors like Git?
Because they are afraid to commit.
Source: Reddit/ProgrammerDadJokes
7
What do you call a skinny ghost?
BOOLEAN.
Source: Reddit/ProgrammerDadJokes
8
I like my women like I like my filesystems.
FAT and 32.
Source: Reddit/ProgrammerDadJokes
9
Why does Yoda’s code always crash?
Because there is no try.
Source: Reddit/ProgrammerDadJokes
10
Two sql developers walk into a bar & then walk straight out…
Because there were no tables they could join
Source: Reddit/ProgrammerDadJokes
11
I was having a hard time understanding source control…
but i’m starting to git it
Source: Reddit/ProgrammerDadJokes
12
$ git dad .
git: ‘dad’ is not a git command. See ‘git –help’.Did you mean this?
add
So today I fixed it:$ git config –global alias.dad ‘!curl https://icanhazdadjoke.com/’
And now my clumsy typing is rewarded with comedic gold:$ git dad .
I used to hate facial hair, but then it grew on me.
Source: Reddit/ProgrammerDadJokes
13
Why do anarchists like functional programming?
Because it has no state.
Source: Reddit/ProgrammerDadJokes
14
2B || !2B
That’s the question
Source: Reddit/ProgrammerDadJokes
15
What’s the second movie about a database engineer called?
The SQL
Source: Reddit/ProgrammerDadJokes
16
Why did the C++ programmer look in the toilet?
He was trying to CPP
Source: Reddit/ProgrammerDadJokes
17
My girlfriend is the root of -100
A solid 10 but also imaginary
Source: Reddit/ProgrammerDadJokes
18
Karl Marx would really not like Java
He was really more a classless sorta guy.
Source: Reddit/ProgrammerDadJokes
19 or alternatively…
Why do Communists Hate OOP?
All of the classes…
Source: Reddit/ProgrammerDadJokes
20
My son complained that my daughter was biting him.
Son: “Dad! She’s biting me!” Daughter: “I am not!” Son: “Yes you are, you bit me like 8 times!” Daughter: “I did not bite you a single time!” Me: “8 bits, sounds like a single byte to me. Go to your room, and next time use your words to get your point across.”
Source: Reddit/ProgrammerDadJokes
21
What language is used to program the self driving garbage truck?
Java, because it already has garbage collection.
Source: Reddit/ProgrammerDadJokes
22
Why do cashiers excel at assembly?
Because they’re experts at working with registers.
Source: Reddit/ProgrammerDadJokes
23
What is Trump’s favorite compiler argument?
-Wall
Source: Reddit/ProgrammerDadJokes
