Paul Nuttall lost an election, his car, and his dignity. It can’t be the former pro footballer’s first hat-trick

John Plunkett. Updated February 24th, 2017

Spare a thought, no actually, don’t spare a thought for Ukip’s chief fiction writer, Paul Nuttall.

As if losing his fifth UK parliamentary election wasn’t bad enough – only two more to match Nigel Farage! – no-one could remember where they parked his getaway car. Hilarity ensued.

“Where’s the car?” Nuttall searching for his getaway car after disappointing Stoke by-election result pic.twitter.com/9s7VxnVb6K

— Jessica Elgot (@jessicaelgot) February 24, 2017

Then he went on Twitter to thank his supporters.

I would like to say a big thanks to the people of Stoke and everyone in UKIP who came to campaign with us in the by-election.

— Paul Nuttall (@paulnuttallukip) February 24, 2017

Bad idea.

@greysku @paulnuttallukip
Don’t worry Paul..try standing in Hillsborough next time

— (((Bhigdadi))) (@ibngibril) February 24, 2017

@paulnuttallukip Don’t worry. No one can take the honour of being the first woman to fly across the Atlantic from you.

— Simple Si (@DadAndTwo) February 24, 2017

@paulnuttallukip congratulations on getting elected and good luck with your mission to Mars

— Brian (@F00tballisall) February 24, 2017

@paulnuttallukip pic.twitter.com/symQ9LTO6k

— Battles365 (@365Battles) February 24, 2017

@paulnuttallukip chin up, at least you can go back to being the hero Gotham City deserves.

— Andrew Locking (@MrMagpyr) February 24, 2017

@paulnuttallukip You have bigger fish to fry, anyway. Being both an MP and an MI6 agent was never going to be workable.

— Craig (@CraigS) February 24, 2017

@paulnuttallukip on the plus side house to rent in Stoke. Previous tenant never moved in. Available immediately

— BJ (@GrandmaD1969) February 24, 2017

@paulnuttallukip You’re nearly as successful as Farage at losing now Paul. Keep up the great work.

— Mark (@MarkMobile68) February 24, 2017

@paulnuttallukip congratulations on being the Christmas number 1

— Phil (Brabham)Martin (@PhilmartinGSY) February 24, 2017

@paulnuttallukip great work Paul, I knew we could rely on you to single handily dismantle this party of hate #insideman #neverquit

— heron (@HeronSean) February 24, 2017

Even Gary Lineker got in on the act. And to think, a fellow former professional footballer!

Crappy day but at least Nuttall won f**kall.

— Gary Lineker (@GaryLineker) February 24, 2017

Spare a thought for Paul Nuttall, he made a new life for himself in Stoke but the good people spotted an unskilled migrant and sent him home

— Ferretgirl (@Ferretgrove) February 24, 2017

Give @paulnuttallukip credit- it’s not easy to run an election campaign while playing lacrosse for Brazil and discovering penicillin.

— The Secret Barrister (@BarristerSecret) February 24, 2017

Aw never mind, Paul Nuttall. You could always stand for election on one of the seven new planets that you just discovered.

— Ian Hyland (@HylandIan) February 24, 2017

Ok we get it, Paul Nuttall lies a lot.
Move on & leave him alone, he’s pregnant with twins for Christ sake!
He needs rest

— joe heenan (@joeheenan) February 24, 2017