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If you’re looking for a new way to hate yourself in the mornings, why not replace the muffins in your standard Eggs Benedict with a couple of dry Weetabix? Why not? Are you a fucking coward or something?

So, making it British by dumping the English muffin? Of course the biggest crime here isn’t against breakfasts, but in the shitty name Weetabix settled on.

Actually no, this is a crime against breakfast food.

See you at The Hague, Weetabix – where you will be on trial for your crimes, along with Kelloggs, who once suggested eating cornflakes out of an avocado.

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