This tweetstorm from a guy who trolled The Metro with “fake crushes” is the funniest thing you’ll read today
Shocko over on Twitter is some sort of internet genius and has been entertaining the whole damn world with his confessions on how he trolled The Metro with a series of fake crushes getting them to print increasingly ridiculous things.
Read all 23 tweets – it’s completely brilliant and even finishes with a feel good moral at the end.
1. “Can’t believe it’s 3 years since those Metro slags published my first ever Rush Hour Crush. Still does my nut to this day.”
Can't believe it's 3 years since those Metro slags published my first ever Rush Hour Crush. Still does my nut to this day. #bringbackhanging pic.twitter.com/dBkbrOAjsk
— Shocko (@shockproofbeats) December 4, 2016
2. “I did these for years. Genuinely kept me sane in a pretty tedious, depressing job I had at the time.”
Source: Twitter/@shockproofbeats
3. “Was a genuine thrill seeing them published and visible for millions of people, even if they were, mostly, really fucking stupid.”
Source: Twitter/@shockproofbeats
4. “And my favourites generally were the really stupid ones.”
Source: Twitter/@shockproofbeats
5. “Others had slightly more grit. It’s called RANGE, fam.”
Source: Twitter/@shockproofbeats
6. “I must admit I do really love this one. Fuck me it got everywhere. Still shows up every few weeks.”
Source: Twitter/@shockproofbeats
7. “The Metro Good Deed Feed section – where people thank strangers who’ve helped them, etc – is a lovely idea I mercilessly abused. I can’t tell you how happy it made me that they let “(a policeman)” through. I nearly cried. God, I hated the job I was in at the time.”
Source: Twitter/@shockproofbeats
8. “Good Deed Feeds were good to write and submit because you could force people to conjure incredibly specific images in their heads.”
Source: Twitter/@shockproofbeats
9. “Always aimed for ideas that didn’t seem too mad on first sleepy viewing, but if you applied even a tiny bit of thought to them were INSANE.”
Source: Twitter/@shockproofbeats
10. “Greatest achievement the day I got two printed on the same page. A good deed and a crush, telling a single story from two unconnected people”
Source: Twitter/@shockproofbeats
11. “Or this inscrutable crossword clue I sent as a crush which somehow got through. Never worked out what they definitely would/wouldn’t print.”
Source: Twitter/@shockproofbeats
12. “Seriously. Considering the utterly insane ones I did get in, it always wrinkled my brain that this one didn’t. I submitted it maybe 7 times.”
Source: Twitter/@shockproofbeats
13. “I will never forgive the Metro for not publishing this Good Deed Feed of mine either.”
Source: Twitter/@shockproofbeats
14. “Some submissions, like this one, could see why they didn’t get through, still disappointing. In all I probably submitted 60 or so. Got 19 in.”
Source: Twitter/@shockproofbeats
15. “And yes, loads of them, looking back, were just shite. But I had my fun and that’s all that mattered.”
Source: Twitter/@shockproofbeats
16. “Jig was up around this time last year, think they logged my IP. I used a diff email every time but they caught on. Think this was last one?”
Source: Twitter/@shockproofbeats
17. “That was that. Until Nutella rode into town and I started fighting the crushing tedium of my job that way instead.”
Source: Twitter/@shockproofbeats
18. “Which got the following response from Ferrero, still to this day, a career highlight.”
Source: Twitter/@shockproofbeats
19. “If you’re in a shit job or feel unfulfilled, I’d sooner vomit then give you platitudes about creativity etc, plus each situation different.”
21. “BUT I’d strongly recommend doing 1 small creative thing every day, even if it’s stupid. Maybe *especially* if it’s stupid.”
22. “Flexes the old muscle and reminds you of what you like. AND watching the results build up is a great way of visualising progress.”
23. “But don’t do crushes, good deed feeds, nutella jars, essays about N. Ireland or Steve Bruce reviews cos they’re mine shocko.info”
Follow @shockproofbeats NOW.
