This review of a “mattress protector” is both too much information and a man boasting he’s actually had sex with a lady
Mnger over on Reddit writes, “Looking for a mattress protector and came across this review…”
Bed is looking like a scene out of Dexter
This review is from: LINENSPA Premium Mattress Protector – 100% Waterproof – Hypoallergenic – 10 Year Warranty – Vinyl Free – Queen / White (Kitchen)
Alright, strap yourselves in. So it’s Saturday night and I’m meeting up with a cute chick from Tinder. We go out, get a few drinks, things are going well. Much to my surprise she actually agrees to come back to my place. We get into bed- things are happening. Things start to feel… warm. I pull away for a change in positioning and realize that I just pounded a hole into the Hoover Dam of periods. Bed is looking like a scene out of Dexter. Sheets, pillows, duvets, blood is everywhere. There is literally a STANDING POOL OF BLOOD OVER TWO FEET LONG AND ONE FOOT WIDE
Obviously she’s freaked out and if the police walked in I’d probably get shot. I pull off the fitted sheet and all that stands between my precious mattress and the unintentional blood sacrifice I made to Lucifer is my Linenspa Mattress Protector. Slowly….SLOWLY I remove it as the puddle sloshes around on the surface….easy….EASY…. ONLY TO FIND MY MATTRESS ENTIRELY UNTOUCHED. AMAZING!!!!
And what’s more here’s the photos. Thanks Amazon guy:
“In all seriousness, these are the kinds of reviews I like to see. Real world examples”, writes HeyImGilly.
“This is why I always lay down a tarp before sex. Clean up is so much easier”, notes dan10981.
