Tattooists share their stories of the worst tattoos clients have asked them to do
Over on Reddit noskee asks, “Tattoo artists of reddit, what’s the worst tattoo you’ve ever given someone?”
Here’s the nine most interesting answers:
1. Human trafficking
I also asked my artist this question while I was in the chair. His story is actually kind of sad – he was working in a shop somewhere “down south”, and they used to have this Eastern-European sounding guy come in a lot with a string of beautiful Asian girls. The girls would get the same tattoos he had – they stopped serving him after this happened a few times. The first time they assumed it was a couple tattoo, second time that he has poor judgement, but after that it started to look a lot like a human trafficker marking his “property”. He said one of the girls didn’t even know the tattoo was permanent. He probably regrets tattooing some of those girls. (One_Peanut_Cookie)
2. Rubbish cover-up
I did a cover up that I wasn’t proud of, but that’s what the client wanted. A couple came in to the shop asking for a cover up of an ex bf. She showed me and surely enough, a big guy’s name on her side hip. The good part was it was done in a light blue ink, easy to cover. I already started getting ideas in my head of what to cover it with. Guy steps in and says, “No. We just want a star over it”. The name was about 5-6 inches long and I explained that a star that big would have to be, at least… 8inches big to fully cover the name. Both said yes to this. My boss walks over and gets on my ass for not suggesting something else, but I explained to him that that’s what they wanted. Both looked at him and nodded. By the time it was done, this small, petite girl had a blue star covering her entire hip area. It looked cheap, tacky, ghetto mad, just stupid. After that, I refused to do cover ups if the client doesn’t listen to reason. (tattooed_n_high)
3. Stripper bottom
Asked my artist this. He told me that years ago some stripper came in looking to have vines and roses tattooed on that would come out of her butthole and curl up her back. He asks why not just get the roses on her back and butt, but she insists it must come out of her anus. He reluctantly does the tattoo for a a high price and said it looked pretty good too. But curiosity got the better of him after a while and he asks why she insists on having it come out of her butthole.
Her response was both the strangest and smartest reasoning I could have heard for such a tattoo. She would dance and she figured the guys would ask “hey how far does that tat go” to which she could say “for ten bucks I’ll show you”. So the dudes pay up a ten spot, she shows her asshole real fast and done deal. She’s richer and they looked at an asshole. My tattoo artist is not proud of that job. (piknick1994)
4. Actually this is a great idea in a “dad joke” kind of way
My buddy has tear drops on the sides of his middle fingers. Anytime someone complains to him he puts them up to his eyes and makes a pouty face. (KeytarPlatypus)
5. Army nonsense
Buddy of mine in the Army got a rooster hanging from a noose tattooed on his calf so he could say he had a cock that hung below his knee.(sheephound)
6. Birthday present
My tattoo artist told me that another guy in their shop had recently tattooed boxing gloves on a woman’s vagina(in her 50s). It was for her husband’s birthday and she said it was so he could beat her pussy up. (SleezyForRonWeasley)
7. The old nips targets one eh?
A girl wanted me to make her nipples in to targets, black and red circles around them.
Yeah, not proud of that one. (ALWAYS_TELLING_LIES)
8. Vagina on the bit between balls and butthole
I asked the tattoo artist this question while I had mine done. Someone he worked with got an estimate request for a vagina to be tattooed onto his taint. She gave him an estimate thinking he’d think it too high and moved on. Turned out the other places he went to first quoted him higher, so he accepted. The guy I was talking too said he’d walk by her cubicle and see her bent over with the guy’s legs up, and she said she was fine the first hour or so until she took her first break. Then it was torture for her to finish. (fantasticforceps)
9. Two stories….
I was in the beginning of my career and had only been at it for about four years. Was making a name for myself doing black and gray portraits in my home town. One day a client came in for me. She had her husband and child with her, wanting a quote on some ink. Their child was only about a month or two old and they wanted to get the child’s foot prints with a banner that included the date of birth. No big deal, pretty standard, done these a few times before. Then, I get hit with a twist, it needs another banner underneath it with nothing in it. Confused, I asked why. They told me the child was terminally ill and would die soon. My jaw dropped, I had a long conversation with the ups and downs of this decision and tried to talk them out of it. Eventually, they convinced me that it was not just so spur of the moment thing and I did the tattoo. About 6 months went by and I had put it out of head when they came back and wanted me to finally finish it. I felt so terrible that I couldn’t bring myself to do it. I had my buddy do it instead.
Second story, 4 kids in their early 20s came in. One of them lost a bet, he had to get a tattoo and he had to let the tattoo shops artists pick it. Being the lot of wise area we are, I shouted “unicorn with a dick for a horn” and my co-workers yelled “dick taco”. His friends laughed and he was blown away and just beside himself. His friends and him agreed to let him pick 4 of his own choices and put a number from 1 to 6 on all of the ideas then roll a die. Well, we had one of our best artists do an amazing a unicorn with a dick horn on him… I’m just glad people still hold up to their end of a bet.
There are many more, but those are just the ones that always pop in my head. (MajesticChazwazzer)
