Company launches range of scented candles to help angry men on the internet relax a bit

A company that makes scented candles has launched a new range exclusively aimed at furious men on the internet who think that everything is a feminist conspiracy.

The candles, which come in a range of relaxing scents such as lavender and vanilla, also come with a variety of mantras intended to calm down the men before they go on a social network and threaten to rape or kill someone.

It’s hoped that when the men became furious after reading or watching something on the internet, they can light the candle and repeat calming messages such as “films can have female characters as well”, “just because women play video games it doesn’t mean you can’t” and “people with different opinions don’t invalidate yours.”

“The modern world can really stress a lot of men out,” said the CEO of RelaxDude Candles. “We hope that in future they reach for one of our candles before they reach for the computer keyboard.”

“Then they can just dim the lights and drift off into a state of utter stress-free bliss. And stay the fuck off the internet.”