Male actress and comedienne, Peter Serafinowicz has been wowing his Twitter followers with his brilliant one-liners for 7 years, and we’ve picked 21 of his absolute best.
- “OOYL” – Yoda
- If the apocalypse doesn’t happen tomorrow, don’t worry. It’s not the end of the world.
- “Float like an octopus, sting like a clock.” – Mohammed Dali
- So sad to hear the news about Jeremy Clarkson. He’s still alive.
- Nothing is as effective as homeopathy.
- Anyone remember the nineties, when you’d have to clean your mouse balls? I’m glad I don’t have pets any more.
- Thank you for calling SeaWorld. Your call may be recorded for training porpoises.
- “Shit just got real.” – God, creating the digestive system
- Once I listened to so much Eno I had to be taken away in an ambience.
- Lif is too short.
- Which end of a pregnancy tester are you supposed to poo on?
- ‘I’ve been expecting you, Mr. Bond.’ – James Bond’s mother giving birth
- God has a plan for you. It’s called ‘death’.
- I’m taking the Kick The Bucket Challenge to raise people’s awareness of Death.
- I’m still angry at my parents for not buying me expensive rollerblades. Cheapskates.
- I’m pitching a kids version of Snakes On A Plane. It’s called The Eels On The Bus
- Dear Sir/Madam, Your transgender operation was a partial success.
- Can anyone tell me what Lucasfilm’s sound system is called? Thx
- I never saw American History X, because I didn’t see any of the first nine.
- Infinity fascinates me no end.
Make sure you follow @Serafinowicz NOW. What are you doing still here?!
Still here? Okay then, get more Peter S here.
Here he takes down Donald Trump.
And Boris Johnson.