These 30 covers and extracts from children’s books were all really published; some from more innocent times, and some, we wonder how they got past an editor, but all of them are hilarious.
1. Horatio Humble Beats The Big “D”
2. The Muffin Muncher
Hey dragon, no need to be so bashful about it, it’s the 21st century!
3. Wow. Just some firemen with their hoses
And what hoses they have too!
4. “This is hard,” panted Ben. “Take it, Jen.” “Not yet, please,” moaned Jen
Hard to believe the authors didn’t know what they were doing here.
5. “Do you like it? In your face?”
It would appear they do, they’re grinning wildly.
6. So, You’ve Got A Fat Pussy
7. Scouts In Bondage
You didn’t think all that knot training and camping was for nothing did you?
8. “Your beaver rests all day & fools around all night, & if you can’t get to sleep you’ll have an instant playmate”
Pretty solid advice actually.
9. OK, seriously, this looks like a bum hole!
The artist HAD to know what they were doing here.
10. “A lion is coming…”
Looks like the lion came too soon too…
11. “Turtles sleep”
Oh so that’s what turtles call it?
12. Fellow Fags!
Hail fellow fags! Let’s do some fagging!
13. The Amazing Bone
Foxy wants the pig’s bone – look, it’s in her handbag!
14. See Dick Bite Jane
The follow-up “See Jane Bite Dick” was even more popular.
15. “But Thomas was waiting at the Harbour for the special load. Suddenly, there it was. ‘Oh dear!’ gasped Thomas.”
It’s OK Thomas, it’s happened to all of us
16. Invisible Dick
Write your own policeman’s helmet and truncheon jokes.
17. “Who Will Toss My Salad?”
18. “Suck it!” said Lion
This lion is a bit pushy really…
19. Ok just an amusingly placed sticker to liven things up
20. Why is mommy moaning?
Someone buy these teddies some earplugs!
21. My oh my, look at that trunk and er.. lower trunk bits
22. “The secret of being a good lover is… not knowing when to stop”
Er.. no. Don’t take advice from Lions, they might be lion (lying! geddit!? HA HA HA! Sorry.)
23. From a French anatomy book
Ok, it’s there to point out that all of us mammals are pretty much variations on one design, but they really could have found a better position to illustrate this with.
24. “I look at elephants!”
And what you see when you do! Gosh!
25. “I need boys – for Pleasure Island”
Yes, we’ve heard about this…
26. “A morning of awkwardness is far better than a night of loneliness”
This is literally terrible advice. And with a sheep too!?
27. “Before she could get the words out, Mr Rogers put something in her mouth. It was so good Mrs. Rogers forgot about being angry.”
Hmm, we wonder what that could be?
28. “I know when a naughty girl needs a spanking”
This is SO wrong
29. Pooh Gets Stuck
We’ve all been there!
30. Dick, Dick, What Did You Lick?
A sausage by the look of it