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10 reasons to not own a hoverboard

Hoverboards, balance boards, death enablers – whatever you want to call them, are fraught with problems. Here’s ten.

1. First off, the name is wrong.

2. They catch fire.

3. They can ruin Christmas.

4. They can make you go swimming unexpectedly.

5. They are making us incredibly lazy.

6. They tried to kill Mike Tyson.

7. And Darth Vader.

8. And this teacher.

9. They can also hurt your eardrums (from all the screaming).

10. They can make you look like you’re having sex with thin air.

It’s not like good old days of the Segway, nobody was ever injured on one of those.

Or looked ridiculous.