Scientists to balance out malaria vaccine by designing horrific new weapon

Poke Staff. Updated July 24th, 2015

Science News: The science community has promised to balance out the positive achievement of the world’s first malaria vaccine by designing a new weapon capable of killing lots of people in really horrible ways.

scientists

“We’ve been working on the malaria vaccine for the last thirty years,” said one lead scientist from the team at GlaxoSmithKline.

“If it proves effective, it will improve the lives of millions of people around the world – so we clearly need to address that balance by coming up with some new terrifying weapon capable of killing millions in unique and truly horrifying ways.”

“As rewarding a developing a landmark lifesaving medicine is, it’s much, much cooler to design a giant warrior robot that can flay someone’s skin with a laser while turning their children into mince and giving everyone within a sixty mile radius bowel cancer.”