House Of Commons Claims ‘Dog Ate All MPs Expenses Reports’

Westminster News: MPs accused of abusing the expenses system will escape investigation after a naughty dog ate all the paperwork, it has been claimed.

House of Commons authorities say that all evidence of MPs expenses claims prior to 2010 were eaten by the greedy little dog, meaning an end of the official investigations into the scandal.

“We were going to comply fully with any investigation into expenses claims,” said a House of Commons spokesman. “But I turned my back for just a second and this dog got into the records room and had eaten it all.”

“Luckily we has some spare copies available, but then I spilled my dinner on them so we had to throw them all in the bin.”

“Then someone suggested we print out some more copies, but the printer had run out of ink and then I spilled my lemonade all over the computer and now it doesn’t work. I’m sorry Miss, it’s not my fault, please don’t give me detention.”

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