12 Classified Ads That Definitely Weren’t Written By A Murderer
You should definitely reply to the people who posted these classified adverts. They’re almost certainly completely normal and not Norman Bates from the film Psycho. (Via @Hilary_W)
1. “I would like to marry with a European Lady.”
2. “Go on, you know you want to.”
We don’t, Michael. We really don’t.
3. “Mentally ill needed.”
4. “MUST PEFORM ALL WIFELY DUTIES.”
Gerry doesn’t need to pay £29.99 a month to Match.com. He’s got a felt tip pen.
5. “FREE Rent in exchange for elderly woman.”
Bargain.
6. “Anything considered.”
7. “Don’t hesitate.”
“Don’t worry everything. Don’t hesitate. Just come round to our weird free-rice-and-internet murder shack. You will be addicted.”
8. “ONE NITE STANDS ONLY”
9. “Child mender.”
She practices by breaking children.
10. “Will trade for guns.”
11. “NO Hookers, she-males, transsexuals.”
Malik Turner knows what he wants. Larger/clearer version available here.
12. “Must have boat and motor.”
