Trust nobody. Believe nothing.
April Fools’ Day brings out some surprising wit and brand shenanigans from national newspapers to retail giants.
Here’s our list. Did we miss any? We’ll be updating it all day.
‘THE Queen has given her royal seal of approval to fracking in the grounds of Buckingham Palace.’ – reports The Sun
‘Alex Salmond to replace the Queen on new Scottish pound coin’ reports The Daily Telegraph. ‘Salmond Sterling’ to be brought into circulation in 2015 if Scotland votes in favour of independence. [h/t @paulanderson73]
Scottish independence is also the subject of hilarity in The Guardian.
‘Scotland to switch to driving on the right if independence is given the green light…Current road signage system would also be scrapped under scheme nationalists say helps show country is ‘part of Europe”’ Daily Mail
Is anyone in Scotland laughing at these I wonder…
‘Union Jack gets a Yes vote makeover: Secret Government papers reveal how flag will look if Scotland votes for independence’ – reports Mail Online.
‘A British farmer has successfully produced the first six-legged lambs and he now hopes to breed them on a mass scale. Simon Bennett says that he hopes the birth of two healthy lambs called Cupcake and Sprinkles will help to significantly reduce the cost of meat for consumers’ – reports The Daily Mirror.
Further shenanigans from the Mirror, who also report that Kim Jong-un has banned One Direction from entering North Korea unless they get their hair cut.
Gasp! The Metro report that the British government is planning to ban selfies!
“Under the proposals, web users would only be allowed to upload ten selfies a month to sites such as Facebook and Instagram. An 11th selfie in that time would lead to an automatic £25 fine. Further infringements could lead to restrictions on social media usage.”
More genetically modified animal mirth this time from ITV.
‘A Freedom Food Farm has become the first in the world to rear chickens that can lay square eggs. While the shape makes it convenient for eating, it also means making egg sarnies has become even simpler.’ Reports ITV Daybreak
Tragedy in Weatherfield, as BT.com report that the set of Coronation Street has been struck by potholes.
“The pit, which measures roughly three metres across and some six metres deep, appeared overnight just outside the doors of the famous Rovers Return pub.”
The online gadget retailer have a Katie Hopkins toy on sale.
‘Fancy a mindless and snobby debate? Say absolutely anything and she’ll immediately oppose it with a mad, sensationalist opinion. Featuring a built-in motion sensor, she yells attention-seeking drivel every time you walk past! ‘
Samsung says it’s going to fix the problem of WIFI availability by enlisting the help of London pigeons.
then there’s this…
BMW BMW has expanded its lineup to include the BMW ZZZ Series Cot.
CERN to switch to Comic Sans
Biscuit Flavoured Tea
‘Want to enjoy one of life’s simple pleasures of biscuit-tea dunking but without the biscuit crumbs left floating in your cup?’ Well look no further. Tetley are is launching the first-ever biscuit flavoured tea. No dunking required.
‘Both functional and delicious, the new Edibox is a world first in ‘snackaging’ or edible packaging that’s set to take the UK by storm. Never again will people up and down the country have to struggle getting a square pizza box into a round bin. Simply munch your way through the new Edibox safe in the knowledge that you won’t have to put the bins out that night.’ – Dominos Pizza
Thorpe Park have announced that they are to be the world’s first theme park to open its doors to dogs:
World’s Largest Tablet
‘Ocado Technology today launches the world’s largest tablet, the category defining 42” sLablet. With its desktop-class architecture, the sLablet leads the large tablet market’ – Ocado.
Warburtons are set to unveil plans to build a new skyscraper ‘The Loaf’ in the heart of the City. The structure will see two bread shaped buildings sandwich The Gherkin, creating a monument to the popularity of the mighty sandwich.
Mumsnet Mumsnet to use parent power to run the nation’s maternity wards
Virgin America to offer travellers personalised climate control at 35,000 feet.
The National Trust
A nice gentle offering from the National Trust, who are bringing out a new perfume.
The opticians break the news that the Mona Lisa was the world’s first contact lens wearer.
Hot on the heels of Hudl, Tesco have launched the “world’s first tablet for two“.
h/t Maximus Hammer
Online printer moo.com now has the option to use canine couriers to deliver by ‘Pug Post’.