Shirtless Man In Park Heralds Start Of Spring

Weather News: A man without a shirt drinking lager in a park has officially marked the start of spring, meteorologists have confirmed.

“Shirtless park lager man is the strongest sign we’ve seen so far that spring is well and truly here,” said the Met Office’s Chief Scientist, Professor Hanna Alasti-õlu.

“Other signs of spring the UK has been experiencing include twats in cars playing loud music with the windows rolled down, as well as large numbers of middle-aged people talking about visiting a garden centre this weekend.”

Despite the mild winter and recent spell of sunny weather, Professor Alasti-õlu was keen to stress that it was no guarantee of a long hot summer this year.

“It’s too early to say yet, as we’ve yet to see builders come out of hibernation and make so much noise and dust that you can’t open a window or enjoy being outside. That normally starts around the end of April.”