UK Urged To Diversify Economy Into Rice Paddies, Duck Keeping

Economic News: Flood stricken parts of the UK have been advised by the government to diversify their economies to include rice farming and keeping ducks.

“Let’s turn that frown upside down!” said one senior minister from the Environment Agency, to a man who was uncontrollably sobbing after his home and business had been ruined by floodwater for the fifth time in a year.

“Instead of complaining about how badly managed the situation is and how little funding we’ve allocated to flood defences, let’s all pull together and aim to get locally produced ‘Somerset Rice’ and plenty of fresh duck eggs on supermarket shelves as soon as possible!”

The minister also said the floods could be a boom time for other UK industries – including dinghy manufacturers, as well as sales of wellington boots and the large industrial pumps used for getting hundreds of gallons of liquid shit out of people’s homes.