Google’s autocomplete can shed an odd light on what you’ve been searching for. It gets even odder when you type in the names of various MP’s…

1. George Osborne is…

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Top searches for the Chancellor bounce between him being an idiotic liar and how ‘hot’ he is. Making this the single worst game of ‘Fuck, Marry, Kill’ ever.

2. Theresa May is…

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Our Home Secretary is either a hot, incompetent mess or a Sontaran from Doctor Who (a race of belligerent, war-obsessed clones from the planet Sontar). You’d think this would be a top term for Eric Pickles, but it isn’t. The internet is so fickle.

3. Ed Balls is…

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After Cameron called him a ‘muttering idiot’, some Googlers have clearly been having Ed Balls related nightmares. Presumably it involves them being chased by the Shadow Chancellor as he mutters his name over and over again…

4. Michael Gove is…

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A school failing knob with issues. Google isn’t specific about what these issues are, but we presume it’s a collection of back issues of the magazine ‘School Failing Knob Monthly’.

5. Ed Miliband is…

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The “blancmange in a hurricane” search is due to a comment by Michael Gove. The ‘hot’ term pops up again which is a worry. Do people really have sexual fantasies about Aardman animation characters with the inability to lead?

6. Vince Cable is…

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Conflicting searches for the Secretary of State for Business paint him as either an idiot or someone who is right about everything. Most searches seem to involve his geographic location – perhaps people around the world are keen to meet him? Or someone in the U.K is keen to burgle him.

7. Eric Pickles is…

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Predictably the top searches for Pickles are about him being fat, but people are also keen to know what music he’d listen to on a desert island (more like dessert, yeah, guys?) and that time he visited the Isle of Wight. You remember – it was in 2012. He met some people from the Isle of Wight Community Bus Partnership.

Note: A Google search for ‘David Cameron is’ resulted in three laptops exploding. So he doesn’t feature on this list.

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