Swipe left/right

Tweet News: Last year technophobic police forces around the world finally stopped treating Twitter like a terrifying, haunted walkie-talkie and have started to see it for what it really is: a crime-busting PR tool that works best if you crack a few jokes. Here are 11 of the finest. By @Hilary_W.

1. “I don’t need a free iPad. I stole one from Dixons yesterday.”

2. Dear God please make it stop!

3. Oh, you jokers!

4. Warning: marijuana can seriously impair your ability to remember where you live.

5. Don’t worry: zombies don’t use machetes. It’s actually a serial killer/werewolf hybrid.

6. So that’s why there’s never been a fourth series of Gary: Tank Commander: he was arrested in Solihull.

7. Isn’t torture banned under the Geneva Convention?

8. They should have painted the horses in pastel colours and pretended they were Bronies.

9. Never mind the party: Ryan should be arrested for using the phrase ‘be reem’ unironically.

10. Sadly, PC Walker’s Twitter account is no more. Maybe the Smurf got him in the end.

11. And finally…

Breaking News: Brexit Day is nearly upon us - here's 13 tweets that may (or may not) cheer you up

 

Trending Now

  1. Pics
    Trump wants this photo of his dodgy tan removed from the internet. Please do not share.
  2. News
    Daily Mail’s “legsit” front page – our favourite takedowns of this ’70s sexist crap on Twitter
  3. Pics
    This timeline for the Dalek invasion of London is superb
  4. Pics
    59 Victoria Wood quotes that’ll quite frankly improve your day because she was as funny as hell
  5. News
    Watch Donald Trump’s weirdo habit of pushing stuff around desks. Classic alpha male territorial bullshit
« Swipe navigation »