Man mournfully gets jumper out of wardrobe

Fashion News: A man mournfully took a jumper out of his wardrobe today, signalling a sad end to the joy of summer and a return to being cold and miserable.

Witnesses said Martin Kalsea had tears rolling down his cheeks as he rummaged in part of his wardrobe that he hadn’t seen since June. He then pressed a jumper against his face and was heard to softly sob “Is this really happening?” into his cashmere sweater.

“I was hoping I wouldn’t have to witness these cardigans for another few weeks,” said Kalsea. “But I’m cold, both physically and spiritually. Oh God, it’ll be winter soon.”

Kalsea is now said to be receiving regular therapy to deal with seeing his jumpers again – including looking at a picture of the sun and pretending Autumn isn’t happening, as well as setting fire to his shorts and flip flops as a way for saying goodbye to the summer.