Swipe left/right

Film News: The actors announced to star in the film version of the erotic novel Fifty Shades Of Grey are not up to the strict masturbatory standards of many of its fans.

British actor Charlie Hunnam and US actress Dakota Johnson have landed the coveted lead roles in the big-screen version of EL James’ best-seller. Within minutes of the casting announcement fans took to the internet to denounce the decision as ‘deeply un-frot worthy’.

“This isn’t who I imagined pleasuring myself to, in the comfort of my own home, when I buy this film on blu-ray and watch it alone with the curtains shut,” wrote one angry fan on Twitter.

Another fan told about how the casting news was damaging her relationship, “Between this news and my husband getting incredibly upset last week when they said Ben Affleck would be the new Batman, I’ve lost my faith in Hollywood understanding the wanking needs of the average moviegoer.”


Promotion: Ever had a dream, a great idea, a vision? Well Pot Noodle want to help them come true.

Trending Now

  1. Pics
    Facebook joke of the day
  2. Pics
    The ‘grown up’ Ladybird books are now a real thing
  3. Pics
    10 Of The Most Partridge-Like Richard Madeley Quotes
  4. Pics
    How To Traumatise Builders
  5. Pics
    This Is Just Asking For Trouble

Leave a Reply

« Swipe navigation »