Food News: TV chef Jamie Oliver is to be put into an artificially induced food coma, in the hope it will stop him saying anything stupid about people on low incomes.

Oliver recently courted controversy after saying that people on low incomes spend all their money on junk food and ‘enormous televisions’. Clearly confused, the chef then went on to talk about how he’d like to teleport people to Italy to buy clams.

Doctors speaking for the chef, who is worth £150 million, say they now plan to put him into an artificially induced food coma by feeding him large portions of pasta until he becomes unconscious.

“The food coma will not be permanent, but it is for his own good,” said a spokesman for the Mid Essex Hospital Services NHS Trust.

“But until we work out a simple way of explaining to Mr. Oliver that poverty and malnutrition are closely linked and that not everyone has access to a local farmer’s market we will have to keep him subdued with enormous and regular doses of Penne all’arrabbiata.”

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  • malf

    Not only for his own good, but for that of everybody else as well.
    A more economical method of continuing the subdued state might be the regular application of a length of 3×2 timber to the back of his head. Or the front. Unlike penne pasta, it is reuseable.

    August 28, 2013 at 11:06 am