Food News: Virtually all the shoppers in an organic supermarket seem to be ill, frail, or suffering from a chest complaint previously endured by coal miners in the 18th century.

“You’d think an organic supermarket would attract people that are a little bit healthier, but everyone here seems to be on the verge of death,” said Gary Richards, who had just popped in to laugh at the price of an organic onion.

“There was one guy at the checkout buying a vegan calzone who looked so weak he could barely lift his wallet – and I saw one lady who had such little upper body strength she was pushing around a box of rooibos tea with her foot.”

The supermarket was also soundtracked by the persistent sound of coughing and sneezing.

“You could barely hear yourself laugh at the prices above all the coughing,” added Richards. “It’s like these people have never heard of Lemsip and whiskey cocktails.”

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10 Responses

  • Bill

    I normally find The Poke funny but now I hope you die from cancer of the lungs, testes and bowel.

    August 16, 2013 at 9:04 am
  • Simon Clark

    I hope this is supposed to be ironic, as the health crisis of sick unhealthy people in this country dying from a bad diet, and poor food education is a serious issue- as animals also suffer. This kind of thing does not help matters, and is not funny.

    August 16, 2013 at 9:22 am
  • Bill

    No, Simon…it’s just The Poke being a bit dim.

    August 16, 2013 at 9:46 am
  • Dan

    Brilliant, and it’s annoying the right people too! Lol.

    August 16, 2013 at 9:50 am
  • Simon Clark

    Yes it is annoying the right people, I agree. Right meaning… literally the people who are right. Thanks Dan for elaborating :)

    August 16, 2013 at 10:59 am
  • neu 75

    Right about what? Eating over-expensive shite that might not be healthy after all?

    August 16, 2013 at 11:02 am
  • Katarzyna

    first it was herbs, homeopathy then vitamins, now organic food. Stuff yourself of artificial colours, sweeteners, preservatives and all pharma drugs and add some GMO corn the poke! This country is CRAZY!!!

    August 16, 2013 at 3:50 pm
  • Tomos

    We are on the verge of a health epidemic. The pesticides used that are on non-organic foods are the suspected cause of billions of bee deaths in colony collapse disorder, build up in their bodies and directly attack the central nervous system. I didn’t understand Organic until I had a reason not to buy over-farmed, over chemical’d food with NO LONG TERM health studies. Do your research before you think its overpriced for no reason.

    August 16, 2013 at 4:02 pm
  • Keith

    People who are very sick get put on organic diets– People with serious lung diseases like silicosis for example- and kinds of fatal or serious illnesses- It’s the holistic practitioners (whatever you may think of those) treating them who are insisting on this- It’s often their last hope- I dare say regular doctors MDs/Gps are also advocating organic diet- This may be why you see sick people in organic food shops

    August 16, 2013 at 6:10 pm
  • Randolph

    It’s like saying “every time there’s a fire, there’s firemen; so they must be the cause. Eat yer meat, yer eggs, yer veg. Sod the toast and all that factory made shite. You’ll soon see. I can’t believe me eyes, Brits are starting to look like fat unhealthy americans. Its the shite in the food packets. Just eat like yer gran did, REAL FOOD

    August 17, 2013 at 12:55 pm