Swipe left/right

Tech News: Instagram, the photo-based social network and photo processing application, has crashed due to a crippling backlog of depressing images of Ipswich.

The processing software that can make cool photos out of men’s feet and prepackaged sandwiches has ground to a halt when faced with boosting the appeal of the Suffolk town.

“We have basically crashed due to Ipswich,” said one Instagram technician. “The place is just too depressing. Our software can’t handle it. It’s like there’s something in the air, some kind of seagull-grey phantom, sucking the life out of everything, before farting it back into your face.”

“Our technology is powerful,” said a spokesperson for the company. “We can even make a branch of Wilkinson look like Caesars Palace. Yet it seems as if there’s something so heartachingly mournful about Ipswich, that we just can’t seem to jazz it up. We’ve had three members of staff signed off sick due to the stress of trying to enhance some pictures inside Liquid nightclub, whilst a photo of a fox eating a full nappy reduced one man to tears.”

By Andrew Woods

 

Breaking News: Polite young hackers in Liverpool shopping centre resist temptation to stick porn or a rude message on a public screen

Trending Now

  1. News
    Our 15 favourite Noel Gallagher quotes to mark his 50th birthday
  2. Videos
    Watch the moment Emmanuel Macron totally owned Donald Trump
  3. Pics
    Nice property for sale (best ignore the second floor bathroom)
  4. Pics
    This letter to technical support is like something from the IT Crowd
  5. Exclusive
    20 greatest Liam Gallagher quotes and insults
« Swipe navigation »