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UKIP To Communicate Entirely Through Mime

Racist News: After a UKIP MEP called for Britain to stop sending money to “bongo bongo land” the party will now only communicate in mime, in the hope the racism will be harder to understand.

Godfrey Bloom was recorded saying that foreign aid payments were being used to buy items like sunglasses and luxury cars. In the run-up to the 2013 local elections, UKIP also suspended several members from the party for racist views.

“We can’t stop our members thinking racist thoughts, but we can stop them expressing their bigotry out loud by making them use the notoriously difficult to decipher medium of mime,” said UKIP leader Nigel Farage.

“Even if they understand us, what’s the worst thing you can say with mime – I’m trapped in a glass box full of foreigners?”

“I’m willing to go to great lengths to discourage racism in UKIP,” Farage added, “Including the mandatory wearing of a beret or top hat and making the sole communication method mime. Let’s just hope nobody reads too much into the white face paint.”