Exclusive

Thousands Hanging Around Hospitals To Keep ‘Royal Baby Mania’ Going

Baby News: The NHS says that thousands of people are hanging around maternity units in the desperate hope of seeing any newborn babies, in order to get their next fix of ‘Royal baby joy’.

“It was a wonderful moment when Wills and Kate introduced their baby to the world, and now I’m desperate to keep that ‘newborn baby feeling’ going,” said one woman who had disguised herself as a cleaner and was attempting to slip into the Tunbridge Wells Maternity Unit at Maidstone in order to get a ‘quick peek’ at a newborn baby.

“I didn’t realise I had a problem until I saw the amount of Royal baby souvenir newspapers I bought the other day,” said one man, who wished to remain anonymous.

“Then I just needed to see another newborn baby – any newborn baby – in order to keep that feeling going. I blame the Royal family for introducing me to that gateway baby.”

The NHS is now urging members of the public to stay away from maternity units, and suggest staying home and putting a tiny crown on a baked potato to keep their addiction to Royal baby joy going, until they can seek professional help.