Fruit Ripe For Approximately Twenty Seconds

Food News: A new study has revealed that there is a twenty second gap between fruit being hard and inedible, and being covered in mold.

The new study, conducted by scientists at the University of Leeds School of Food Science and Nutrition, found that fruit is only ripe for roughly twenty seconds before it turns into a mushy, rotten pulp that you toss into the bin, vowing to never by fruit again.

“Our study unequivocally that fruit is just pure bullshit,” said Dr. Anton Küps. “When you buy it, it’s hard, sour and inedible. Then it becomes ripe for twenty seconds – eating it during that time is a thing of pure joy – then it goes off and makes the journey to its final resting place, the bin.”

The three year study drew its conclusions after teams of scientists were positioned on a 24-hour watch in front of some unripe fruit, gently prodding it to see if it had ripened yet.

“But not prodding it too hard,” said Dr. Dr. Küps. “Because then it would spoil. Further proof that fruit is shit.”

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