Swipe left/right
Supermarket News: A Nottingham man has made history by buying six items at a supermarket’s self-service till without uttering a single profanity.
Alan O’Neill was awarded with a golden sash, got his groceries for free and was given 100,000 Nectar points, worth almost as much as a whole bag of apples, in honour of his achievement.
He told press: “I breezed through the whole ‘Have you brought your own bag?’ thing by remembering that it’s better than being asked by an actual human if you’re capable of putting things in a sack.”
“When it said ‘Unexpected item in bagging area,’ it reminded me that’s what me and the wife call anal sex, so that put a smile on my face right the way through having to be cleared to buy alcohol by a 15-year-old.”
“And when it gave me cashback in a special slot at the rear of the till at the base hidden by  a metal hatch, I just pretended it was a fun treasure hunt.”
Alan received his award from the supermarket manager, and shortly afterward could be heard outside shouting “Give it back, you thieving bastard” at a trolley which refused to relinquish his pound.
Story: Tom Whiteley

Next> Iowa News Today

Breaking News: The instructions for this pound shop mobile phone case are the best thing you'll read today

 

Trending Now

  1. Pics
    This woman’s awkward “automatically generated email address” has gone viral with 50,000 retweets
  2. Pics
    This guy will fix problems in your photos for free and the results are simply astonishing
  3. Pics
    19 awful estate agent photographs that’ll make you glad you can’t afford to buy a house anyway because they’re all terrible
  4. Pics
    The instructions for this pound shop mobile phone case are the best thing you’ll read today
  5. Pics
    “This might be the most British video ever”
« Swipe navigation »