George Osborne To Stop Eating Food

Diet News: After several cringe-worthy incidents involving eating food in public, George Osborne says he will now abandon food completely.

Osborne was recently ridiculed for tweeting a picture of himself eating a £10 burger – last year he posed for a photo eating a Cornish pasty, and several years ago a photo from his Bullingdon days showed him biting down on the neck of a live swan.

Now the Chancellor says he will stick to the safer option and switch to a liquid diet, to be consumed entirely in private.

“George was only trying to show the electorate that he’s a normal guy,” said a source close to the Chancellor. “If only people knew how much practice he puts into eating stodgy ‘normal’ food they wouldn’t be so quick to joke.”

“That was the twelfth burger he’d eaten that evening, because he thought he didn’t look normal enough eating the first eleven. Luckily we’d flown in a special burger advisor from the USA to give us his expert opinion, otherwise we might have been there all night.”

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