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Loo News: A man was ‘uncomfortably enthusiastic’ while urinating in a public toilet last night, fellow urinators have alleged.

The man, urinating in a pub toilet in Golders Green, London, was said to be ‘very vocal’ about just how great his peeing was, to the point that it became deeply uncomfortable for everyone within earshot.

“He wouldn’t shut up while he was peeing,” said one urinator who was washing his hands when the man entered the urinal. “There was a constant stream of ‘phooooaaar’ and ‘ahhhhhhhhh’ with the occasional ‘oh yes’ coming out of his mouth. Anyone would think that he’d never had a slash in his life before.”

Onlookers say the man’s enthusiasm didn’t end when he stopped peeing. “After he finished and zipped up he let out this really long sigh and nodded to himself, like he’d just finished one major chapter of his life and begun another.”

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