Lunch News: A pleasant sunny lunchtime was ruined for dozens of people yesterday, by a moron with a twang-stick.

Over thirty people were enjoying sitting in the sun eating their lunch in a small park in Central London, when the idiot with the noise-plank sat down, seemingly unaware that nobody except himself wanted to hear his moronic strumming.

“I was sitting on the bench eating a sandwich when I noticed the git with the jangle box appear,” said Samantha Owen, 24, who was reportedly having a good time until strum-boy turned up.

“He looked around, then just smugly smiled and started bashing at the strings. It was awful – you could see everyone within earshot wince and visibly tense up.”

“It could have been worse,” said another person who had their lunchtime ruined. “He could have been playing a tribal drum. If that had been the case I would have forced him to eat his own dreamcatcher.”

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5 Responses

  • Peter Clack

    Ha! Almost as bad as the annoying ukulele girl I had to queue behind at the railway station M&S food hall. Shut the **** up! with the incessant random strumming that isn’t even a tune!!!!! ;)

    June 4, 2013 at 9:20 am
  • Bob

    I hate it when you are waiting for a train and some tossbag starts playing the guitar singing creepy songs about a girl on the other platform.

    June 4, 2013 at 3:02 pm
  • Herb

    Bongos! I will make the next bongo player eat his bongos, very very slowly.

    June 4, 2013 at 6:20 pm
  • Rory

    Probably Oz from WSP

    June 5, 2013 at 11:36 am
  • dddvd ggn

    You are all “fuking boring” complayners guys, music is great!

    June 6, 2013 at 1:58 am