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Men struggling to work out how to use 3D printer for porn

Porn News: The revolutionary new technology of 3D printing is struggling for acceptance with a male public who can’t see how it will help them get their rocks off. 

Technology journalist Brett Sawyer commented: “The internet is man’s greatest accomplishment because it opened the doors to a brave new world of solo self-gratification.

“The laptop gave us porn on the go, the tablet was wireless porn, the smartphone put porn in your pocket. This 3D printing thing? How’s that going to work?”

Phil Ellis, who lists surfing porn sites in the hobbies and interests section of his CV, said: “I suppose I could print out Scarlett Johansson’s buttocks and turn them into a novelty lampshade but that’s more a talking point than a masturbatory imperative.

“But for some reason my wife keeps hammering on about buying one, says we need to be at the leading edge of the technological revolution.

“I wonder if it’s anything to do with that Benedict Cumberbatch Cock Schematics file that she insisted I BitTorrent for her the other week?”

Story: Tom Whitely

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