‘I Was Muff-Punched By Ben Fogle’

Wholesome Presenter News: A sports therapist from Lancaster spoke of her distress today after being rabbit-punched in the fanny by TV presenter Ben Fogle.

“I saw Mr. Fogle at an Ideal Gardens exhibition and wanted to experience his famous charm for myself,” says 32-year old Dana Lewisham.

“He was beaming that smile of his, surrounded by fans, when I introduced myself as someone who was planning to kayak across the Thames and asked him if he had any survival tips.”

“That’s when he ushered me to a remote corner of the stand, let out a Bruce Lee-style scream, dropped to one knee and muff-punched me. Just like that.”

While Fogle is said to be helping police with their inquiries, a spokesperson for the star firmly denied that the incident ever took place.

“It should be obvious to everyone who knows Ben that this story is absolute fantasy. He would never, and I repeat never, do a Bruce Lee impersonation. He’s not a racist and he prefers Jackie Chan.”

Story: Jasper Gibson