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Royal News: Princes Charles’ repeated habit of doing awkward little dances in front of youngsters and foreigners is actually a cry for help, say leading psychologists.

64-year-old Charles has a long standing habit of doing little jigs when posing for photos in foreign countries or at youth clubs, classic signs that the Prince of Wales is desperate for someone to intervene and stop him.

“When we see Prince Charles dance, what we really hear is a man yelling ‘guys, get me the fuck out of here’, says leading behavioural expert Dr. Hendrik Ontsnappen. “Instead of help, all this poor guy gets is polite applause.”

Prince Charles recently took part in a traditional sword dance on a visit to Oman – he then reportedly then held the sword against his throat and screamed “Someone make this end. I can’t handle all this travel, exotic food and meeting c-grade celebrities. I swear if I have to pose for a photo with some pop band I’ve never heard of I’ll fucking end it.”

Charles was then escorted to a secure area by security guards, with Camilla later seen calming him down with some kind words and a packet of his own brand Duchy Highland All Butter Shortbread.

Story: Simon Swatman

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