Swipe left/right

Fame News: One of the wold’s most highly-paid paparazzi was discovered hiding in Kate Moss’ vagina today and had to be extracted by police.

Philip Treebold – whose pictures of Meryl Streep beating up a farmer have earned him millions from magazines around the world – was found inside the supermodel with a camera and some biscuits.

“We believe he mistook the noises of her Japanese toilet for that of a crowd,” said a spokesperson for the model. “Kate looked down to see the bowl beneath her filled with flashing light and that’s when she called security.”

Though no one knows for sure how Treebold got into Moss’ vagina, he may have been hiding in a tampon or simply wearing camouflage and lying flat against the gusset of her knickers.

“With so much money at stake, these people will go to any lengths for an exclusive photo,” says media commentator Helen Van Der Sick.

“Kanye West often has to pull photographers from his anus. Victoria Beckham actually gave birth to a paparazzi who came out piggy-backing her baby and taking pictures of the doctor’s hands.”

Story: Jasper Gibson

 

Tennis grandee Judy Murray is waging war on excess Pimm's mint! #sponsored

Trending Now

  1. Popular
    If you can pronounce correctly every word in this poem, you will be speaking English better than 90% of the native English speakers in the world
  2. Pics
    TV presenter forgets to check her shirt before going on air
  3. Popular
    People are sharing the comments they’ve overheard in Waitrose and it’s too funny for words
  4. Pics
    The people who made this wedding RSVP really didn’t think out their layout
  5. Pics
    These “awkward British problems” will make you cringe and laugh at the same time
« Swipe navigation »