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by David Stokes > @scottywrotem
You forgot to include the gay and lesbian couples trying out the beds, the horse meat balls joke and the punch up in the hour long queue to pay.
Always thought they should do cheap divorces along with the meatballs at the end!
Great, change “Exit” to “Sweet, sweet freedom” though!
I like the “argument” bit; Ikea must be Swedish for argument, because I’ve had one with my wife every time I’ve visited. God, I fucking HATE Ikea.
The real way out of IKEA is to send Fearless Mike (google him) to shop for you. He is my new hero.
The trick is to leave man on the other side of the checkout. He can have coffee and a weird Swedish biscuit while you can shop at leisure without him being an irritating fart trying to hurry you. Then he can do masculine things like take stuff to car and pack it. Otherwise take another woman. Loads of laughs an an enjoyable trip.
Myself and my partner recently spent 4 hours in Ikea without having an argument. Is that a record? Are we weird?