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Motoring News: Arsehole drivers are to get their own dedicated lane on motorways, in order to give everyone else who doesn’t drive like a total prick a break.

“The new dedicated arsehole lane will give arsehole drivers ample opportunity to drive really close to each other, blare their horns for no apparent reason and cut each other up all they want,” said a spokesman for the Highways Agency.

The plan is predicted to cost billions of pounds, but the government says it will be worth it when these twats have their own private lane to act the prick in.

“Anybody wearing a baseball cap backwards and driving a Renault Clio with alloys and tinted windows will automatically qualify for use of the new lane,” said the Highways Agency.

“Likewise businessmen who blare their horns at anyone doing less than 70 mph will also qualify. Let’s hope they kill each other.”

Breaking News: Happy birthday, Underage Drinker #1 from Hot Fuzz!

 

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